The World is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round, and it has thrills and chills and is very brightly colored, and it’s very loud. And it’s fun, for a while.

Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they’ve begun to question, ‘Is this real, or is this just a ride?’, and other people have remembered, and they’ve come back to us and they say ‘Hey, don’t worry. Don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.’ and we KILL THOSE PEOPLE.

“Shut him up! We have alot invested in this ride! SHUT HIM UP! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account, and my family. This just has to be real.”

It’s just a ride.

But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that. You ever noticed that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn’t matter, because … It’s just a ride.

And we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear wants you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead see all of us as one.

Here’s what we can do to change the world right now, to a better ride:

Take all that money we spent on weapons and defense each year and instead spend it feeding, clothing, and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and WE CAN EXPLORE SPACE, TOGETHER, BOTH INNER AND OUTER, forever … in peace.

– Bill Hicks (1961 – 1994)

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The International Coach Federation (ICF) asked me to get involved in their annual survey, and today I got the 2012 Executive Summary.

The key points are:

• Coaching continues to grow, especially in Western economies, though other regions are expanding
• There remains optimism about the future of coaching as a profession
• The key issue for coaching is the number of people starting in the industry without any training

It makes interesting reading.

What are your impressions?

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Wilhelmina Anna Theresia Wong

We hear of many brave stories of those who demonstrate a strong will to live. What about having the will to die?

My mum passed away last week. She was an extraordinary woman. One of her many qualities was her strong determination. Be it her desire to get something done despite the odds, to do what was right, or to simply have her own way, she never faltered in her focus to see something through to the end, no matter the timescales. Minutes, hours, days, years.

Mum was happy to talk about death. She didn’t want any fuss, a simple funeral would suffice. She joked about the practicalities of being buried in a black plastic bag to save costs. Why spend all that money on an expensive coffin when the person is already gone. Better to give flowers to the living than the dead.

Mum wanted a quick death. As a nurse she had witnessed first hand people suffering a long, slow and painful existence prior to death. All she wanted was to die peacefully in her sleep.

A few weeks ago mum had a fall. Nothing life threatening. She was rushed to hospital where complained of severe back pain. Drugs helped a little with the pain though she was immobile. Rather than take up scare medical resources she was allowed home. She settled, and within a few days, passed away quietly and unexpectedly. An ambulance was called, they managed to revive her vitals and get her to hospital, where she died a few hours later without ever regaining consciousness.

The post mortem could not find an obvious cause of death, and the coroner’s tests are still awaited. Mum’s cremation was a few days ago, where family and friends celebrated her life and shared memories of her sense of humour and her strong character. So what did mum die of?

One could argue that the signs indicated that mum had had enough. It was her time to die. Rather than being a burden to others and not wanting to suffer, she got what she always wanted, passing away quietly at home. They may never find out why and perhaps the death certificate may simply state ‘Cause Unknown’. My mum certainly loved a mystery.

Yet is it a mystery? Perhaps, through the pain, knowing what was yet to come, she decided that enough was enough. She had ultimate control and decided to use it. She willed herself to death.

If sheer will can keep us alive, then it can also allow us to die. Between these two extremes, you can use your will to achieve anything. Think about it, then perhaps you might want to do something with that thought.

Rest in peace, Mum.

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I suppose we have all done it at one time or another, if only to pass the time. Some do it more consciously by using the pen and paper to draw out ideas, develop a new product, or help someone understand. The stories of new businesses being built from a sketch on the back of and envelope or beer mat are many. Google it and check it out.

I use doodling when I am coaching. Some people just like to talk and listen, others want to take things into the own hands – literally – and either write or sketch things down. Putting things down on paper provides a different perspective, it allows things to become more real rather than just a fleeting thought or a figment of imagination. For some it provides such clarity that the next step forward becomes obvious.

It seems there are others who think the same as I do about doodling. It even got a mention at a recent TED talk:

I have also found a pretty good book which uses doodling as a problem solving tool. The book is perhaps a little long for my liking, yet many pages are there to give the reader some space to try out a few doodles for themselves. The methodology is sound, and as a way to get one person or several people to look at a problem differently and then find a solution, this is a fantastic tool. See what you think. Unfolding the Napkin: The Hands-On Method for Solving Complex Problems with Simple Pictures

So, instead of being a closet doodler, how about putting those drawing to good use. How can you use them to help you?

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I have heard this question many times over the years and admit to being a little overwhelmed by it. My thoughts run into overdrive as I analyse all the permutations of the things I am passionate about. Of course, it depends on the context. For me it would be my partner and my children, for sport it would be football and for recreation it would be hill walking. For work it would be to serve people.

I didn’t always know that. From an early age it was all about making a living, getting on in life and keeping up with others. My parents worked long hours serving fish and chips and I was expected to help out. At times I resented it. It was hard work, we took a lot of abuse when serving customers and we went home stinking of vegetable fat. In time I came to enjoy it. It was a mindset change when my father explained that for some people, this was the only hot meal they would have that day and so it was up to us to serve the best we could. It didn’t alter anything about peeling a bag of potatoes but it did change my perspective.

It has been a long time since I last served fish and chips to anyone. Through a whole series of events and life’s ongoing journey I now find myself serving people in a different way, through coaching and mentoring. So perhaps I was always following my passion. It is only recently that I became aware of this. So what, you ask?

Following your passion isn’t everything. It is only part of the answer when considering what you want to do with your life. Neil Crofts considers passion in helping to identify your life purpose. Perhaps that is a better way forward, following your passion within a context.

So, if you are as overwhelmed by the question as I am, don’t be put off. It is a valid question, and can be a lot of fun to answer. Once you have some thoughts on paper, consider a few other things, like how you might bring more of those things you are passionate about into your life, as well as using that as a starting point to explore other questions, like your purpose in life.

Coincidentally, as the idea of writing about following your passion came into being, I came across this video. It made me laugh out loud, and then made me think. Perhaps that is the sign of a good storyteller, someone who can both entertain and provide insights. As you enjoy the video, be aware of what amuses you, and the insights it gives. Perhaps you may even find your passion…

Enjoy!

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It takes courage, self belief and a lot of passion to be a true leader, though many would argue that you also need to be a little mad to want to take on the responsibility. Yet if no-one else does, how are we going to change the world for the better? How are we going to improve the life of others, build a society that we can all feel proud of, and enable people to find their own rhythm and dance…

What tune are you dancing to?
 
 

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I was sitting with a potential coaching client recently. We were discussing the opportunity that had arisen in her organisation where the CEO was retiring. Our discussion revolved around capability, competence and ability. Certainly there was evidence of abundance of all three, as well as loads of relevant experience and the support from key people, including directors. Yet there was hesitation.

As we explored this, it became clear that the perceived demands of the CEO role were creating a blockage. The long hours, the high profile and the requirement to get involved in ‘politics’ were not the selling points for this role. The current CEO managed to fit it all in and seemed to cope well, but could you?

Any big management and leadership role will make demands of you. For some this is part of the challenge and soon they play the game in the same way as those before, sacrificing everything for the role. For others, it is an opportunity to change things whilst still being authentic to themselves. In the end, the best leaders that we observe today are those who are true to themselves, who set their own rules for the game and play fair. It is all too evident to observe those who do this, and those who don’t.

For those that do, tapping into their own strengths and being themselves is more important than meeting all the qualities, criteria and competencies that most leadership books like to list. It is fundamentally about knowing yourself and being yourself. Knowing the answer to the question: Who are you?

I came across this interesting video with Bill George, author of True North: Discover Your Authentic Leadership (J-B Warren Bennis Series) which sets out a great framework for discovering your true self and setting out your own direction. In this video he talks about how the life stories of various CEO’s have influenced their leadership style and their ‘true north’:

So what about your story? My potential client, intrigued by this, is having some coaching sessions to explore this…

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A simple Google search on changing habits returns 150 million references, so there is a lot of useful stuff out there, with varying levels of detail, from the simple to the very complex ideas.

I like to keep things simple. It helps my clients stay focused on what needs to be done, rather than trying to remember a load of detail. I also like to keep things positive as for some reason it seems to work. However, I know people who prefer to ‘not do’ something, so do whatever works for you.

Watch this video, decide what you would like to change, and then start it now. Let us know how you get on.

Enjoy!

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Remember the days when you wanted a pair of jeans you had no more than 3 brands to choose from, and 2 or 3 styles per brand. Today there are more brands than I could ever name and so many styles and options that I confess to being overwhelmed by the choice available to me today.

They say that the multitude of choice is driven by consumer demand, everyone wanting something unique and different. Companies are continually offering new products and services based on our needs. So we end up with too much choice, so much so that we become frozen in making a decision. This RSA video nicely explains the background to having too much choice.

How do you cope with all that choice? One option may be to recognise the game for what it is, and consciously decide when you wish to engage with it and when to exclude yourself from it all. This requires a level of self awareness so that you make your choices based on those things that are important to you, and free yourself from what is important to others. Though I suppose the question that raises is are you free to make that choice?

You decide…

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Have a look and see what you think. As always with vacations / holidays / whatever you want to call it, but sure to be taking time off – no sneaky peaks at your messages, emails, etc etc that so fill our lives with ‘stuff’…

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